巴金夢雙語散文
巴金夢雙語散文
夢
巴金
據說“至人無夢”。幸而我只是一個平庸的人。
我有我的夢中世界，在那里我常常見到你。
昨夜又見到你那慈祥的笑顏了。
還是在我們那個老家，在你的房間里，在我的房間里，你親切地對我講話。你笑，我也笑。
還是成都的那些老街道，我跟著你一步一步地走過平坦的石板路，我望著你的背影，心里安慰地想：父親還很健康呢。一種幸福的感覺使我的全身發熱了。
我那時不會知道我是在夢中，也忘記了二十五年來的艱苦日子。
在戲園里，我坐在你旁邊，看臺上的武戲，你還詳細地給我解釋劇中情節。
我變成二十幾年前的孩子了。我高興，我沒有掛慮地微笑，我不假思索地隨口講話。我想不到我在很短的時間以后就會失掉你，失掉這一切。
然而睜開眼睛，我只是一個人，四周就只有滴滴的雨聲。房里是一片黑暗。
沒有笑，沒有話語。只有雨聲：滴——滴——滴。
我用力把眼睛睜大，我撩開蚊帳，我在漆黑的空間中找尋你的影子。
但是從兩扇開著的小窗，慢慢地透進來灰白色的亮光，使我的眼睛看見了這個空闊的房間。
沒有你，沒有你的微笑。有的是寂寞，單調。雨一直滴——滴地下著。
我喚你，沒有回應。我側耳傾聽，沒有腳聲。我靜下來，我的心怦怦地跳動。我聽得見自己的心的聲音。
我的心在走路，它慢慢地走過了二十五年，一直到這個夜晚。
我于是閉了嘴，我知道你不會再站到我的面前。二十五年前我失掉了你。我從無父的孩子已經長成一個中年人了。
雨聲繼續著。長夜在滴滴聲中進行。我的心感到無比的寂寞。怎么，是屋漏么?我的臉頰濕了。
小時侯我有一個愿望：我愿在你的庇蔭下做一世的孩子。現在只有讓夢來滿足這個愿望了。
至少在夢里，我可以見到你，我高興，我沒有掛慮地微笑，我不假思索地隨口講話。
為了這個，我應該感謝夢。
Dreams
Ba Jin
It is said that "a virtuous man seldom dreams". Fortunately, I am but an ordinary man.
I dream my own dreams, in which I often meet you.
Last night I again saw your kindly smiling face.
It was the same old home of ours. You talked to me cordially now in your room, now in my room. You smiled and I also smiled.
It was the same old streets of Chengdu. I followed you step by step on the smooth flagstones. Looking at you from behind, I inwardly consoled myself with the thought that father was still hale and hearty. A sensation of blissfulness warmed me up all over.
I was unaware that I was in a dream. I also forgot the hardships I had gone through during the past 25 years.
While I sat beside you inside a theater watching the fighting scenes of a Peking opera, you explained its story to me in great detail.
I was again the small kid of 25 years before. I was joyful, I smiled naive smiles, I chattered away freely. I did not have the slightest inkling that you together with everything else would in a moment vanish out of sight.
When I opened my eyes, I found that I was all by myself and nothing was heard except the pit-a-pat of rain drops.
No more smile, no more chitchat. Only the drip drip drip of rain.
Forcing my eyes to open wider and drawing aside the mosquito net, I began to search for you in the pitch darkness.
A greyish light, nevertheless, edged in through two small windows to enable me to see the spacious room.
You and your smile were no more. Only loneliness and monotony remained. The rain kept pitter-pattering.
I called to you, but no response. I listened attentively, but heard no footsteps. I quieted down, my heart beating hard. I could hear its thumping.
My heart had been tramping along all the time. Up to now, it had been on its slow journey for 25 years.
Thereupon I kept my mouth shut. I knew you would never appear standing before me. I had lost you 25 years before. Since then, I had grown from a fatherless child into a middle-aged man.
The rain continued to fall. The long night wore on amidst its dripping sound. I was seized with acute loneliness. Well, was the roof leaking? Or was it my tears that had wetted my cheeks?
When I was young, I wished I could remain a kid forever under your wing. Now I can fulfill this wish only in my dreams.
There in a dream, I can at least come face to face with you. I can be happy, I can smile naive smiles, I can chatter away freely.
For all this, I should be thankful to my dreams.
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